India's Zia-ul-Haq Moment

Dr. Mabuto bin Kambata, a Somalian alchemist, in 1985 tried to bring out the Second Golden Age of Islamic Science by stating that he had invented a method to harness electricity from Gennies (yes, you read it right). Shunned by the Judeo-Christian scientists of Africa and facing immense ridicule, he sought refuge in the embracing arms of President Zia-ul-Haq of Pakistan. The president at this time was fermenting his policies of Pakistan's Islamization. Dr. bin Kambata soon found eager ears and succeeded in convincing the president that they should hold a conference on Islamic Science. Thousands of enlightened minds took part in this glorious exercise. About 30 or so years onward, the country that once produced the likes of Dr. Salam now struggles to teach its kids elementary science.

Laments on the above scenario can be read on Dr. Hoodbhoy's articles in Dawn. But what would he know, he is a brainwashed Judeo-Christian scholar after all. It rather makes sense to believe that scientists from TIFR are busy scaling the Siachen glacier to cause avalanches on the Pakistani side using a device that weighs a few tons and bolted to a lab in Mumbai (there is even a book on this).

But why should Pakistan have all the fun, India can never be defeated in anything by them. We, after all, have won all our Cricket Worldcup encounters. Therefore, to respond to Islamic science, we have come up with Hindu science. And noone should dare to boast better than us.

Hindu science, when considering boasting, draws its inspiration from the Indian mothers. In the eyes of Indian moms, their sons are the next big Einstein/Beethoven/Tendulkar/da Vinci. For daughters, please refer to the manual popularly known as Tejomay Bharat.

Our achievements are:

  • We have reformulated reproductive theory. Sperms and eggs are just old school ideas. Genetic material is transferred by tears instead. Ref:- Mahabharata
  • Damn the thieving Wright brothers. We had spaceships that flew on liquid mercury. Open any news media and you will hear numerous reports of archaeological evidence about the same. This has been so well accepted in our scientific community that it was presented in the Indian Science Congress. Dr. S.N. Bose and Dr. Meghnad Saha would have shed a happy tear on seeing this. APC Ray would have burnt his book on Hindu Chemistry reflecting on his ignorance.
  • Ask Prof. Batlewala, and he will tell you how Hindu astronomy found a binary star system 10000 years ago that rotates around each other (He mentions that there is only one such system). The white wig wearing Newton knew nothing when he formulated his laws.

Having read the above, you can ask me why I am paraphrasing the same old material from media. To answer your question, it is because I read the following

One of the saddest lessons of history is this: If we have been bamboozled long enough, we tend to reject any evidence of the bamboozle. We are no longer interested in finding out the truth. The bamboozle has captured us. It is simply too painful to acknowledge, even to ourselves, that we have been taken. Once you give a charlatan power over you, you almost never get it back.
Carl Sagan - The Demon-Haunted World

The problem as I see it is, Pakistan allowed its charlatans to run riot for far too long. The academicians watched as religion pervaded the academic system. They watched as religious zealots were conferred academic degrees. They watched as pseudosciences clawed its way into everything. They watched as Salam was replaced by a Mullah. Will we do the same?

I will be speaking as always. You take your call.

P.S.: - Any study of human science and philosophy can ever be complete without reading Islamic literature between 8th and 13th century A.D. I strongly suggest my readers read the works of stalwarts like Ibn Khaldun, Al Hazen, Al Biruni, etc. I am only limitedly aware myself due to a limited number of good translations available.

Published:- 13th June, 2017